Facing My Feelings

"I never felt anything because I never faced anything. I hid behind the drink."

It took true courage for me to face situations in my life. I chose to use alcohol for years to cope with my life, but the alcohol had run its course and stopped working for me.

While the alcohol was working, I could numb myself from the reality of my life. There were struggles and strife that seemed to be erased by the liquor but, in reality, were still there waiting for me once I sobered up.

Actually, my problems got worse as I continued to drink. My body became chemically dependent and I was left to drink to keep from shaking and feeling the continual hangover. I was now using alcohol to fight the pain of my addiction.

Since I have found the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, I am able to face my daily situations and struggles. I am able to use the 12 Step Program and rely on other recovering alcoholics to guide me through my life without a drink. I have traded "liquid courage" for the real thing, and for that I am grateful to my Higher Power for leading me to the Fellowship of AA.

Responsibility

"If the alcoholics who came ahead of us were not responsible to the AA program, I would not be here today. We must remain responsible for those who come to our fellowship in the future."

It is amazing to me that the AA program has endured and thrived since 1935. The program is simple. There are suggestions made in the Big Book of Alcoholic Anonymous. These suggestions help me to maintain my sobriety. It has been said, "Pray, attend meetings, find and use a sponsor, develop a network of recovering alcoholics, and most important of all, Don't Drink!"

This program works for me one day at a time. As long as I maintain a fit spiritual condition and rely on the God of my understanding, I can stay sober, one day at a time. I am grateful for the alcoholic who led the way with this AA program. It and they have saved my life.

Attitude toward Others

"It's not what you do to me; it is what I do back to you."

As a practicing alcoholic, the world revolved around me. I was the queen bee and everyone needed to understand that. If you did something to hurt me, or if I perceived that you were trying to hurt me, I would retaliate to get even.

At this point in my life, as I work my twelve step program, stay in contact with my sponsor, and attend meetings, I am able to see my own selfishness. I am able to understand how my selfishness brought my world down around me.

I have learned that it is not "all about me" anymore. I have to have tolerance for others who may not be just like I am. We all have gifts and talents that we bring to the table. I must embrace those differences and celebrate them.