Questions and Answers (Part II)

The next question I asked myself was "What is the purpose of my life with this disease?"

Questions and Answers

Sobriety, for me, is a gift from God. I have asked myself and my higher power the questions and want to share where I am in my journey concerning each of these.

First, "Why am I an alcoholic?" When I asked this question of another alcoholic, he answered, "So you can reach out to another sick and suffering alcoholic." I know that is part of my 12-step program, to reach out to others who can be helped by my sharing my experience, strength, and hope regarding my disease. When I asked my sponsor, she said, "Why not?" That answer stopped me in my tracks. What did she mean, "why not?" After I thought about the response, I had to agree with her. Why not? I could have been born with diabetes, or be suffering from heart disease, or dealing with any other disease know to the medical community. But the disease I have to deal with, learn about, and learn to control on a daily basis, is alcoholism. Why me? Why not?

The next question I ask myself is "What is the purpose of my life with this disease?"

and then... "What am I supposed to do with this knowledge and information?"

I continue to review my life and ask my higher power to reveal the answers to these questions, so I can share my experience, strength, and hope with others. 

Struggling and Finding Help

"If you are struggling with something, you must make the decision to do what you don't want to do at the time. No matter what you are going through, you have to ask for help. The telephone seems to weigh 500 pounds, but you have to lift it to get the help you need."

In my home group, we begin every meeting with the serenity prayer, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." I have to remember this prayer and say it over and over again when I am struggling with life. It is important for me to realize that there are some things over which I have no control.

I know God, my higher power, has complete control. In Alcoholics Anonymous, there are others who can provide me with their experience, strength, and hope, but I have to let someone know that I am actually struggling, so I can get the help I need with the everyday problems of life. 

I thank my higher power, that I have a sponsor who wants me to call her. I am also thankful that there are many other sober women in my life who have provided me with their phone numbers. I am the one who must ask for help though. Asking for help and lifting that 500 pound phone, even when I don't want to do it, is the only way I will maintain my sobriety. 

Alcoholism is a Fatal Disease

"Alcoholism is a progressive, chronic, and fatal disease. I have a daily reprieve, if I do not drink. However, the further away I am from my last drink, the closer I am to my next one."

My recovery today comes from the knowledge and understanding that this thing called alcoholism is a fatal disease. I must, on a daily basis, maintain my spiritual fitness so that I can remain sober, just for today.

Just as a diabetic may need to take insulin daily, I must also take my daily medicine to prevent succumbing to the disease of alcoholism. My daily medicine includes attending at least one Alcoholics Anonymous meeting each day. I must remain in contact with other alcoholics, who are willing to share their own experience, strength, and hope with the same situations that I am struggling. I must contact my sponsor daily and pray and meditate. My higher power helps me maintain my sobriety, but only if I ask for help to maintain it. It takes action, on my part, to stay sober.

I am grateful that my higher power led me to the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous and the fellowship of other recovering alcoholics. Alcoholics Anonymous has been my lifeline and it can be yours also!

The Journey of Sobriety

The life of sobriety is wrapped up in the statement below... as an alcoholic I can not hold a resentment and remain sober! As a recovering alcoholic I am enjoying my life! I am having fun and living now, instead of being a slave to the bottle. If I immediately apologize to those I have offended, I live a freer life. Finally, to let go of what I can not change, and to hand it over to my higher power, allows me to enjoy my journey of sobriety!

One Day at a Time

The "Entire" Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen -- Reinhold Neibuhr

The Effects of Consuming Alcohol

I am working with a therapist who is licensed in alcohol and substance abuse. Part of my assignment last week was to find out the physical effects of consuming alcohol. I am providing that list here for anyone who suffers from, or knows someone who suffers from, alcoholism. 

Alcohol:

1.  is a depressant
2.  causes dizziness
3.  lowers inhibitions
4.  impairs judgment
5.  causes individuals to engage in inappropriate behavior
6.  is a nervous system depressant
7.  affects vision
8.  affects hearing
9.  affects the ability to sort through emotions
10. can cause an increase in sociability
11. can cause an increase in aggression
12. causes nausea
13. causes vomiting
14. causes insomnia
15. causes bad breath
16. causes headaches
17. causes thirst
18. causes fatigue
19. causes anxiety
20. causes hallucinations
21. causes nervous tremors
22. causes liver damage
23. causes cirrhosis
24. causes vitamin deficiencies
25. causes brain damage
26. causes stomach disease
27. causes impotence
28. causes breast, mouth, and esophageal cancers
29. can cause fetal alcohol syndrome, if consumed by pregnant mothers
30. causes heart damage
31. causes high blood pressure
32. leads to obesity
 AND
33. can cause strokes

1. 
   

The Paradox of Sobriety

"I cannot keep my gift of sobriety unless I give it away."

For this alcoholic, the free gift of sobriety is only available to me through my faith and relationship with my higher power. My higher power, through daily prayer and meditation, allows me to stay sober one day at a time.

However, it is not enough to just be sober! I have to be ready to help another alcoholic learn what it is like to be given the gift of sobriety. I ask myself at every AA meeting I attend, "Can I help another alcoholic by sharing my experience, strength, and hope?"

I am grateful to my higher power, to my sponsor, and to the fellowship of AA for helping me to stay sober and then also providing opportunities for me to give it away.

Play the Tape all the way Through!!

This sound bite, more than any other, tells me that when I start thinking about drinking again, I need to play the tape all the way through..

I have been involved with drinking, not caring if I was thinking about the consequences. I did not care. I wanted to get "loaded" and that was all that mattered.

However, what happened with my drinking created the situations with which I was dealing! My life was a mess.

YOU do not need to deal with these situations! You just need to make sure that you are "playing the tape all the way through." Ask: "What will happen to "ME" if I drink again?" I need to make sure that I am always thinking and playing the tape of what will happen if I do drink again.

Do you want to find your length of sober time??

I have found an excellent resource at www.soberrecovery.com/sobertime.html

The website is an excellent resource for alcoholism, drug addiction, and many other types of addiction 

Check it out!! 

Please continue to follow me at soundbitesforanalcoholic.blogspot.com 

I look forward to walking the journey of sobriety with you, one day at a time! 

Thanks, Donna S.

Prayer and Meditation Resources

I thought I would post the prayer and meditation resources that I use to help maintain my sobriety on a daily basis. 

Every morning I thank my higher power for waking me up to enjoy another day sober. I ask my higher power to keep me sober, "Just for Today." I know that my freedom from alcoholism is only a daily reprieve and it is completely dependent upon the maintenance of my spiritual condition. I pray and meditate daily to maintain my sobriety.

I use several resources to help maintain my spiritual condition. The first resource I use is the "Daily Reflections" reading. It is a book of reflections by AA members for AA members and is organized by calendar date.

The next resource I use is the "Just for Today" reading. It is dedicated to members of Narcotics Anonymous but is very relevant to my condition of alcoholism. This reading has always spoken directly to my heart. It is also organized by date.

Another resource I use for daily meditation is "Twenty-Four Hours a Day." This particular resource is organized by calendar date and includes the "AA Thought for the Day," the "Meditation for the Day," and the "Prayer for the Day." This book is published by the Hazelden Foundation and was first written in 1954. The first revision was created in 1975.

"A Day at a Time" is a book of "Daily Reflections for Recovering People." It was copyrighted by the Hazelden Foundation in 1989. The book is organized by calendar date and includes three sections per day. The first section is entitled "Reflection for the Day." The next section is called "Today I Pray" and the final section is "Today I Will Remember."

As a female recovering alcoholic, who attends a weekly women's AA group, I enjoy "The Language of Letting Go" most of all. We use this daily reading at each meeting. The book was written by Melody Beattie in 2005. It is produced by the Hazelden Foundation. It is also organized by calendar date.

Facing My Feelings

"I never felt anything because I never faced anything. I hid behind the drink."

It took true courage for me to face situations in my life. I chose to use alcohol for years to cope with my life, but the alcohol had run its course and stopped working for me.

While the alcohol was working, I could numb myself from the reality of my life. There were struggles and strife that seemed to be erased by the liquor but, in reality, were still there waiting for me once I sobered up.

Actually, my problems got worse as I continued to drink. My body became chemically dependent and I was left to drink to keep from shaking and feeling the continual hangover. I was now using alcohol to fight the pain of my addiction.

Since I have found the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, I am able to face my daily situations and struggles. I am able to use the 12 Step Program and rely on other recovering alcoholics to guide me through my life without a drink. I have traded "liquid courage" for the real thing, and for that I am grateful to my Higher Power for leading me to the Fellowship of AA.

Responsibility

"If the alcoholics who came ahead of us were not responsible to the AA program, I would not be here today. We must remain responsible for those who come to our fellowship in the future."

It is amazing to me that the AA program has endured and thrived since 1935. The program is simple. There are suggestions made in the Big Book of Alcoholic Anonymous. These suggestions help me to maintain my sobriety. It has been said, "Pray, attend meetings, find and use a sponsor, develop a network of recovering alcoholics, and most important of all, Don't Drink!"

This program works for me one day at a time. As long as I maintain a fit spiritual condition and rely on the God of my understanding, I can stay sober, one day at a time. I am grateful for the alcoholic who led the way with this AA program. It and they have saved my life.

Attitude toward Others

"It's not what you do to me; it is what I do back to you."

As a practicing alcoholic, the world revolved around me. I was the queen bee and everyone needed to understand that. If you did something to hurt me, or if I perceived that you were trying to hurt me, I would retaliate to get even.

At this point in my life, as I work my twelve step program, stay in contact with my sponsor, and attend meetings, I am able to see my own selfishness. I am able to understand how my selfishness brought my world down around me.

I have learned that it is not "all about me" anymore. I have to have tolerance for others who may not be just like I am. We all have gifts and talents that we bring to the table. I must embrace those differences and celebrate them.

Paying Rent

"No one needs to take up space in my head without paying rent." --

As an alcoholic, I am a victim of alcoholic "stinking" thinking. It is important, for this alcoholic, to remind myself that I do not need to be worried about people, places, or things that are not on my path of daily recovery. Often I find myself fretting over situations in which I have no control. I don't have a "dog" in the fight, so to speak. In order for me to keep my serenity and peace, I cannot allow any thought to take up space in my head without the rent being paid!

A Recovering Alcoholic

Hello,

I am a recovering alcoholic called DLS.

I have written down some soundbites that I would like to offer to those of us who suffer from the disease of alcoholism.

I hope that you will find this blog helpful as you work to walk the path of sobriety 24 hours a day.

DLS